Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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