I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize