Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
