What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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