Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
