we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
