But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
