I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
