We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
Randomize
