At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Terrible idea I love it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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