she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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