He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
