Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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