You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She bit a glass in half.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
