In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
