told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
