dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
