I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
