butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize