The maid of honor just puked.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize