Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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