i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
