I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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