I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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