piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
