You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
