I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dear god my vagina.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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