is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
