fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
