i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
