It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
