There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
