how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to sanitize my soul.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
