May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
