Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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