That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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