THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
