Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
