She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
