i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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