i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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