I want to walk on stilts...naked
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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