I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
