So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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