A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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