well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
