the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
