He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
