I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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