It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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