the new term for farting is butt boxing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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