who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and i looked up. we had an audience...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
