You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
