I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
