i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
