we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
