Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
