went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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