The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
