there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize