I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
