dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you win again, gameday.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
