Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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