my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
