This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize