HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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